My Revision Ritual

So!

I am in the midst of revisions for my agent. Yes indeedy, I am. Right now, I'm knee-deep in adding world-building details, deepening character motivation, and looking up random topics on Wikipedia. Such as:

How did the Nazis view religion? 
Do Unitarians use any symbols? 
How tall are cornstalks in April? 

Apparently, I am writing a book about Nazi Unitarian farmers. It's gonna be a bestseller, I tell you!

This is my second time tackling revision notes for my agent. The first time around was for my middle grade space opera, which needed a lot of work and thus required more extensive notes. This time around, my notes have focused more on world-building and character inconsistencies, but I find myself going through the same revision ritual as before. You know, a little bit of flailing, a little bit of angsting, a little bit of ARGHing, and then...acceptance.

Step One: Freak out a little

This is par for the course, no? Every time I get revision notes from someone---whether it's my husband or my agent or my beta readers---I tend to flail. After all, it can be overwhelming to have your work, your precious baby, critiqued and dissected and pulled apart. And being the delicate flower that I am, I must have a good freak out!

Step Two: Think it out

After my flail session, I need some quality time to let my revision notes sink in. Fortunately, I received my notes when I was in Taiwan so this step was easier to achieve. I'd let my mind drift to editing when I was riding on the subway or slurping noodles or, you know, running away from gigantic Formosan spiders. They were as big as my hand!

Step Three: Talk it out

Now, I call in the reinforcements! This is when writing friends come in handy. You can talk revisions with them! And they shall impart wisdom! For this revision, I emailed my beta readers and chatted about what I wanted to do with my next revision. What sort of world-building details should I add? What did they think about the idea I had for fixing a certain problem? After we spoke, I sat down with my computer and pondered some more.

Step Four: Butt in chair

There comes a point in a writer's life in which she can no longer procrastinate. That time has now arrived. After flailing and thinking and brainstorming, I finally get down to business. That is, I stare at my laptop...and stare some more.

And then, THEN!, I get down to business.

First up, I create a new Sticky note on my Mac where I jot down all of the revisions I need to tackle. (If you have a a Mac and don't use Stickies, why the heck not?!) Then, well, I just start. Typically, I begin with the easiest revisions (changing names, removing a minor character, adding world-building details, etc.) and then I move onto the harder ones (refining character motivations, re-writing whole chapters, etc.). As of now, I'm still working on some of the more minor problems but I'm segueing into the larger issues, which hurts my brain a little but in a good way.

Anyway, there you have it! My revision ritual! If you feel bad for me, please send chocolates and cookies and cute kittens my way. :)

I'm curious too. What are your revisions like? Do you have any rituals? Do tell! 

Friday Five

Whew, many apologies for the long delay in blogging! My family arrived back in the States on Tuesday evening, and I have become a jet-lag zombie ever since.

Seriously. I've never had jet lag so badly before! It is an affliction. A sickness. I AM DISEASED!

Ok, not really, but does anyone have any advice for me? How do I fall asleep at a reasonable hour?!

*Eye twitch*

One
Well, the trip to Taiwan was quite fun! My jet lag is due to a good cause, at least! I'm still sorting through my pictures but here are a few from my favorite sites:

{Taroko National Park in northeastern Taiwan}

{Alishan National Park in central Taiwan}

Two
And here's a picture of my brother and me at his wedding festival! He and his new wife Dora wore traditional Taiwanese outfits for the day, which was both awesome and amusing. I mean, check out that hat!

{The hat has wings!}

{My dad can't resist the hat.}

Three
I managed to get some reading done during the trip and during the loooong flight to Taiwan!

Of these three, I have to say that I liked Boy 21 the best. I simply fell in love with this book: with its honest narration, with its grimy urban setting, and with its heartbreaking characters who are all flawed and messy and trying to survive in the inner city.

What did I love most about this book? The realness of the male narrator's voice. You know how some male POVs come across as how we wish teenage boys would sound like? As in, the boy is so clever and mysterious and sensitively romantic? That's rather swoony and all, but sometimes I just want my characters to sound...well...real. And author Matthew Quick accomplishes just that. Finley, the protagonist, acts and thinks and sounds like a real seventeen year-old. You know, he thinks about sex and about his family. He thinks about basketball and how to get out of his town.

Finley is simply real. And I loved that.

Four
On the writing front, I'm currently working on a revision for Awesome Agent Jim! His notes are spot-on and I'm excited to make my manuscript stronger (this is my YA alternate history), although I am a bit overwhelmed whenever I stare at the email that Jim sent me.

Like, where do I start? Eep!

Hopefully, I can make some good headway this weekend. I just have to crack open Microsoft Word and force myself to revise, right?

RIGHT!

Five
Well, you're probably jealous of my weekend plans, aren't you? HA! Anyway, since I've been away for so long, what's up with you? What's new? Whatcha reading? Whatcha doing this weekend? More importantly, do you want to hang out when I start tearing out my hair over revisions?

I'm good company. Promise!

Oh, FINE. I'll buy you a brownie. Now can we hang out? Or are you gonna make me order you a drink too?

:)

Friday Five: Taiwan Edition!

I have returned to the motherland!

Also known as...Taiwan!

After a 16-hour flight and a layover in Tokyo, my family arrived in Taipei on Wednesday evening. We spent the last two days in the capital city---where I saw a lot of stray dogs and cats and even a rat! Ew!---and now we're in a town called Miaoli, where my brother and sister-in-law currently live.

Anyway, I'm in that strange limbo of jet lag in which I'm kind of tired but also kind of wide awake. So I have decided to blog!

One

{Why hello!}

Here I am with my Uncle Bing!

Ok, not really....

This is just a random bust I saw in Taipei yesterday, whom I decided to nickname Uncle Bing because I couldn't read the accompanying plaque. Basically, I'm kind of illiterate here in Taiwan since I've forgotten most of the characters I learned in Chinese school. Somewhere up in Chinese heaven, my ancestors are shaking their heads at me and sighing. Sorry, ancestors!


Two

{Chiang Kai Shek Memorial}

{Visiting my paternal grandfather's grave, who died in 1973.}

For this trip, I rented a wide-angle lens from BorrowLenses.com since I wanted to try one out and because---yipes!---these lenses cost about $1000 new and $700 used. Ah, photography! Why did I have to choose such an expensive new hobby? Still, I'm sort of in love with this lens! Must save my pennies....


Three

{Taiwanese book cover}

In bookish news, I saw two guys in Taipei today reading the Chinese version of The Hunger Games. I wanted to tap on their shoulders and point enthusiastically at their books and say, "This is SUCH a good book! I approve!"

Don't worry. I refrained from doing such a thing because I'd like to give off the impression that I am a.) normal, and b.) semi sane.

Of course, in reality, I really am a crazy person. At least when it comes to The Hunger Games. :)


Four

Foooood!

My family has been taking full advantage of the exchange rate here in Taiwan. Just yesterday for a five-person lunch, we only paid $15 for a table full of noodles and appetizers! I might weigh 500 pounds once I get home. What a fun surprise for Justin!

Oh! My sister and I were at dinner tonight (at a Lord of the Rings themed restaurant of all places!) and I spotted a hilarious English misspelling. Ready for it?

Pesto Pasta with Vaggies

Hahaha. I know, I know. So gross, right? I couldn't stop giggling and gagging at the same time. Suffice to stay, I didn't order that dish.


Five

Aaaaand on the writing front, I've been able to crank out some words on my new WIP! Very surprisingly! That's another fun side effect of my jet lag, I suppose. I go to bed at strange hours and awake at even stranger ones. Hopefully, fingers crossed, I'll write a few chapters while I'm here so I can send them off to a few readers.

So, how are you doing? What are you up to this weekend? And what are you reading? Your recommendations are always welcome!

Lately

Oof, has it been a week since I last posted? Whoops, I didn't mean to do that! So here's what I've been up to lately:

Lately in photography....

About ten minutes from my neighborhood, I often drive by a beautiful farmhouse built on a gorgeous piece of land. Yep, one of their fields is filled with buttercups! I couldn't resist parking my car earlier this week and snapping a few pictures. 

Hmm, I totally need to befriend these people so I can run through their field whilst singing "The hills are alive! With the sound of muuuuusic!" And then I'd pick buttercups for hours and feed carrots to the horse. Best. Day. Ever.

{Why hello, horse!}

Lately in reading and writing....

{Hello, awesome book!}

I simply devoured Grave Mercy by Robin LaFevers a few weeks ago, and it has become one of my favorite YA novels. Like, ever. I mean, this book has it all: female assassins, court intrigue, a heart-racing storyline, and a formidable love interest to boot. Plus, the book has garnered not one, not two, but four starred reviews! Much deserved reviews, in my opinion. Go forth and read! 

As for writing, I'm forging ahead with my new WIP (it's set in space!) while I await revision notes for my previous novel from Agent Jim. I have to say, I love being in this Shiny New Idea phase! All of the excitement, all of the giddiness...if only I could bottle up this feeling and inhale it whenever I get a case of the Doubt Monsters. 

Lately in nostalgia....

My brother's new wife asked me if I could scan some family pictures for her since she hasn't seen any. (They live in Taiwan.) The picture below, taken on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial (I think), has to be one of my favorites. Why am I making that face?

{Hello, funny face!}

Lately in travel....

I'm leaving tomorrow for Taiwan! It's a family trip to meet my brother's new wife since the two of them eloped back in February. I'm excited! My parents were raised in Taiwan but I've never been able to visit this lovely island. 

We'll start off the trip in the capital city of Taipei and then meander through various parts of the island. (My dad says that Taiwan is about the size of Maryland so it's not very big.) I'm super looking forward to visiting Hualien, a county located on the northeastern coast. So pretty, right? It must have been hard for my parents to move to the U.S.! 

{Hello, beautiful!}

I probably won't be blogging much until I get back to the States. Still, I'll try to update this ol' blog a few times if I have a good internet connection! 

Talk to you guys soon!

Hanging Out with the Obamas'!

Question: Did I use that apostrophe correctly in the title of this post? 

Obamas'? Obama's? Obamas?

Hmm, maybe I should've taken some editing classes in college....

Anyway, I totally hung out with the Obamas' this weekend! No biggie. Michelle and I are like this. 

Haha, grand delusions aside, I was lucky enough to go on the White House Garden Tour on Saturday. The lovely Lynn Colt was kind enough to give me an extra ticket, and we were able to bypass the mega long lines because her fiance has an Awesome Government Job. 

Go Awesome Government Jobs!

{Hello, future house! Caroline for president!}

{My head is HUGE! Cantaloupes ain't got nothin' on my noggin.}

{Lynn and her fiance Gene. So cute!}

I finally got to meet Lynn's fiance Gene! I've known Lynn for nearly two years now but---through various near-misses---I've never met her fiance. Turns out, he's a fun and funny and laid-back guy (thumbs-up, Lynn!) and I really need to introduce him to Justin since they both work in similar careers, they both love to shoot, and they both have a mutual hatred of the Olive Garden. 

HOW CAN YOU HATE THE OLIVE GARDEN?! 

{A building next to the White House. Another future house?}

I even got to do some writing research on the tour! The White House plays a key role in my YA alternate history novel Anomaly, and so I've been studying maps of its interiors and grounds. Still, nothing can compare to the real thing! After viewing the Rose Garden and the Ellipse, I may have to do some rearranging in the book....

So how was your weekend? What have you been up to? And did you SEE the ending of last night's Game of Thrones episode?! Aieee! I was so confused and kind of grossed out. And yet, I remain so intrigued!

Friday Five: Mushy Edition

One
Today is my five-year wedding anniversary! Five years ago today, Justin and I were doing this:

Oh hai, new husband!

Two
Why, yes, we got married on 4/20! Yes, people get a little chuckle out of this. And yes, you may laugh too.

Actually, I wanted to get married on 4/21, but that date was booked so we had to settle for 4/20. Ah well! At least, we can giggle about our wedding date, right?

Three
Five years into this marriage thing, I can safely say that Justin might be the best husband ever. Whenever I feel a little blue, he takes me out for hot chocolate. Whenever I doubt my career, he lets me cry on his shoulder. Whenever I get tired of cooking, he looks at me and says, "Well, that's no good. Wanna go out?" And he's just plain thoughtful. Sometimes, late at night, he sends me an email  just so I have a sweet note to read when I wake up in the morning.

I'm a lucky gal. Very, very lucky. And I need to step up my game!

Four
I can't write about Justin without mentioning how incredibly supportive he has been of my writing endeavors. When we got married, I had to quit my job at the Smithsonian and move down to North Carolina since Justin was stationed there. Honestly, I was ready to leave the museum field---as much as I love museums, I think I prefer to be a visitor rather than an employee---but I wasn't quite sure what to do next.

"Why don't you try writing?" Justin told me. "You keep telling me how you always wanted to be a writer."

So, with Justin's encouragement, I dove into this writing gig and he has always been behind me, even when the times got tough. 'Cause it took me about nine months to get my very first essay accepted for publication, and it took me much longer to write my first book and get it ready for querying. (Oh dear, querying. Poor Justin! I was such a mess.) And I'm still working toward that hard-to-reach book deal.

But he's still my biggest fan.

"You're going to be published one day," he tells me.

And I hope I will, for him.

Five
Happy anniversary, my love! I miss you and can't wait for you to come home. To five years and to many, many more!

Justin hates taking pictures. I still love him.

On Confidence...Or the Lack Thereof

Writing is a funny thing.

Sometimes, I feel like Superwoman. On these rare days, I can look at my manuscript and think, Hey, this ain't so bad! It might be sort of good! Maybe!

Other times, I feel like the Worst Writer to walk the Earth. This is when I shut down my laptop and refuse to open Word for days because just looking at my book makes me cringe.

In the past two months, I have been both Superwoman and the Worst Writer Ever. One week, I'd walk everywhere with a little bounce in my step, because I loved my book and I was proud of the work I put into it and---gosh darn it---I was going to send it to my agent right this minute!

But then, in the next week, I'd slump into Slumpy McSlumpsville. I'd stare at my manuscript until my eyes blurred because I had no idea how to fix this mess of words. It got to a point where I had to take a break from it and work on something new because my brain was a confusing place to be.

(Off topic: Would anyone like to swap brains?)

What?! You don't want to swap brains with me?

It's strange going from a place where I had buckets of confidence to a place where I couldn't squeeze a drop from it from my body.

And then came the Email of Hope:

My agent read my book! And he didn't hate it! In fact, he seemed to even like it!

So, for the past few days, I've been walking with that same bounce in my step once again. I can do this! I tell myself. I'm not an awful writer! Let's eat some cake to celebrate!

*Commences eating of cake*

Evil murderess or cake aficionado?

But...this whole experience has got me thinking.

Will I ever reach an equilibrium of confidence? As in, will I ever reach a point where I won't need an Email of Hope to make me feel confident in my writing?  

Or is this roller coaster of emotions simply a part of the writerly journey? 

Right now, I'm leaning toward the latter. As much as I'd like to believe that my confidence levels will go up the more that I write, I can't help but suspect that I'll make many return visits to the Pit of Despair with every novel I pull out of my brain. (Poor Brain.) Part of this is because of me. See, self-confidence doesn't come to me naturally. It's something I have to strive for continually and more often not I lean on my friends for that extra boost.

But I don't think I'm alone in feeling this way.

On blogs, on Twitter, I've been amazed to read about other writers---many of whom have published multiple books---who experience a similar confidence roller coaster. I read their happy posts when they've finished a draft, and I read their frustrated tweets when they just don't think they're any good.

And this surprises me because, when I started to write seriously, I sort of thought that my confidence levels would simply go up and up. I viewed the whole process like a stepping stone: I'd get a little more confident when I got an agent, then more when I got a book deal, then more with every subsequent success. Yet, what I've learned from my published friends is that there's always something new to worry about. Like sales numbers. Marketing. School tours. Writing sequels under tight deadlines. And selling more books in a tough marketplace.

Sometimes you just need a hug.

Go hug a writer already!

This post is getting pretty long, huh? Haha. And I don't even know if it has a point! But I guess what I'm trying to say is this....

In a crazy world like publishing, you have to find some level of confidence within yourself. You can't rely on your friends or your agent or your editor to do that for you. You have to believe in your work and you have to believe in you.

At the same time, confidence will ebb and flow. It's the nature of this competitive business. Sometimes we're going to feel like amazingly awesome writing warriors who can conquer publishing with each competitor we behead. I mean, with each book we write. But, sometimes, we'll feel like Slumpy. And we'll wear pajamas for weeks. And we won't brush our hair. Okay, maybe we'll brush our hair.

It's just all part of the business.